some public
& not-so deep secrets
tag please or die

huiting says hi

Welllllll this is the public blog, so the things written here should be more-or-less stomach-able. ;) So I guess this is where I say the mandatory line:

This blog documents the thoughts and growth process of:
A free soul roaming the world in search of some meaning to life.

Pretty sure that's not the exact way I phrased it when I had my old blog skin but WTV HAHA.

Oooooh wait I think I wrote it as "lonely soul" instead of "free soul". But hey guys I've grown out of that emoshitz phase already alright ;)


人生就是要盡情地瘋 / I am a free soul.

more of me

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Saturday, May 19, 2018 @ 11:29 PM
Perfectionist streaks.
Hmmm, made some observations of myself over the past few weeks and thought I'd just record it down!

The most important discovery I've made is probably about the way I react to event planning and management. Whenever I am the one in charge of deciding the place to go for a gathering, or of the itinerary of the day, I tend to put a humongous load of pressure on myself for seeing that the project works. My perfectionist streak will flow through extremely strongly in this field of things. While that may be a good thing, the way I deal with it is not exactly good. Perfectionism stems from a deep desire to want to see things play out in a wonderful way, but on the flip side, if things don't turn out "perfectly", I'd feel unnecessarily stressed. It's like my mind believes that my entire pride and capability rests on how well the event turns out - when honestly, it's not even official business! I won't lose my livelihood because of some screw ups in events, but I seem to place quite a large burden on myself to plan all events perfectly. Bear in mind that these events tend to be those "trivial" ones, including date nights, birthday dinners etc. Man. This exact same thing happened just now, when I was overwhelmed by my need to plan the perfect birthday dinner for mummymon in which every involved party feels great about the event - mummymon about the food and the atmosphere, my Brother and I about the price, my Father and Alvin about the quality and nature of the food.

Come to think of it, this happens a lot in the other parts of my life as well - when I plan dates, when I suggest restaurants to eat at. And it's probably not healthy, because the worth of myself as a person doesn't rest on how well I managed to plan an event to suit all involved-parties' needs. I wonder when this perfectionism surfaced? Was it after I took on the role of special projects director, and had the experience of planning events for the scholars? Hmm, it may be true. Ah well.

For now I'll head to bed. I have one more day left to rest and to do whatever I want/need to do. Tomorrow will be yet another day! And hopefully a better one too.

See you.
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