some public
thoughts
& not-so deep secrets
tag please or die



huiting says hi

Welllllll this is the public blog, so the things written here should be more-or-less stomach-able. ;) So I guess this is where I say the mandatory line:

This blog documents the thoughts and growth process of:
A free soul roaming the world in search of some meaning to life.

Pretty sure that's not the exact way I phrased it when I had my old blog skin but WTV HAHA.

Oooooh wait I think I wrote it as "lonely soul" instead of "free soul". But hey guys I've grown out of that emoshitz phase already alright ;)

Enjoy.

人生就是要盡情地瘋 / I am a free soul.

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Friday, January 15, 2016 @ 1:06 PM
だから、好きだ。
I can't believe it's been almost a year since we decided where to apply to for university! And then around this time last year we were going around to the various university open houses. And then I got accepted to LASALLE hahaha and I went to check out LASALLE with my mum. Oh well. It would have been a very different environment if I had really gone to LASALLE. The amazing thing is, I got accepted to Berklee College of Music too :P Oh well. Amazing. I must have at least some iota of musical/artistic talent after all, to have been able to bag these admissions. And my love for Science could be, like what Prof Koh said, artistic in nature. I love it because I am interested in it, and am curious about how the world works, not because I want to create something that will bring in loads of money or advance mankind's knowledge. There's no material gain involved. There's no material goal that I want to achieve; I just want to find out more because it is interesting to me. There is no need for me to stick to something stubbornly because I believe that it is what I have to do in order to achieve some material gains like a stable job and stuff. Although it might be more prudent to do that, but I will not be truly happy, or truly pursuing the things that I am interested in.

I am relying a lot on my feelings now, and I hope that they will bring something good haha. I am still unable to completely differentiate my feelings from my soul's calling, but they should be interconnected somewhat. Anyway, yep. A year ago I wouldn't have imagined myself sitting in a hall room in NTU now, living the life of an NTU student so normally, and identifying myself as a student from NTU. It is interesting. From a complete stranger/outsider to becoming someone a part of this community, waiting to explain what life here is about. Although this is actually a very common experience in life lah. Every time we enter someplace new we might feel this way :)

Okay, that was just some thoughts that I had hahaha. See yah!

私は日本語が好きなので、毎日勉強する。
日本語は簡単じゃないのに、面白い。
だから、好きだ。大好きだ。
私は、頑張るね!
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Wednesday, January 13, 2016 @ 10:34 PM
"Long drive, long night, the best night, of my life" - Don't ask me how this title is relevant; it just came to my head when I thought of "Long Day".
It has been a long, long day! Okay probably not long, but a really tiring one haha. Just had basketball quarter finals from 7.30 to 9.30. Of course, we lost, but at least I managed to score two points :) Haha well.

I don't know why but basketball was really tiring today! Halfway I could feel myself start to get a little dizzy. Is it because I am having my period now and am losing blood? Or is it because I didn't have enough sugar? Or that it's been too long since I last exercised and pushed myself? Anyway, I felt really tired - more tired than I felt before while playing other IHG games. I'm pretty sure I will get muscle aches tomorrow, heh. 

Tomorrow will be a really long day - one of the longest days that I will have experience before. And it will be a weekly affair hahaha. Lessons non-stop from 9am to 6.30pm with only a one hour break in between! The afternoon will be a long afternoon man. I guess I should dedicate Thursday nights as rest nights after all. Since after all those lessons, it will be unlikely that I can concentrate. 

Anyway, I am glad that I have managed to finish some work today, namely the math videos for week 1, half of the math tutorial and almost all of the Physics OA on Mastering Physics. This means that I am not lagging behind, probably. I want to do this properly now, haha, not lag behind from the start and struggle to keep up every week. I hope that this is a good sign that I know how to pace myself! But there is still the problem of CY1400 - my mentor has not gotten back to me yet on what I can do :( This is quite bad, haha, because while I have time now, I probably will have a lot less time once proper research starts - if I am even going to be conducting any proper research in the first place haha. I know I said that I will take this seriously and go all out for this, but... Ah well. I'm sorry. I'm still learning what I want to do, and sometimes cannot stick with my decisions fully yet... As I go through all these I will start learning what matters more to me, and then I will be able to make better decisions. Right now, I can only fumble my way through life, and try the things that I know I want to do. Even if they are only a spur-of-the-moment thing. Right now I think that I am doing pretty okay for Japanese, still keeping up with it, not because I feel like I must do it but because I want to do it. And I am careful not to push myself too hard in doing it too, because I know from past experiences that if I become too obsessed with something from the start, it is highly likely that I won't last long doing it. I will give up halfway, because it is too difficult to keep up with the obsession. And so I'm going slowly and steadily now, testing my limits, pushing myself a little, knowing when to withdraw and when to continue. Japanese is my respite from the rest of my academics at the moment. But Japanese itself is starting to get harder too. It's okay, though, I am slowly testing the waters, and testing the balance. 

Alright, once my hair dries I will go to bed! I am really feeling rather tired at the moment haha. And I don't want to sleep too late today too because there will be lessons in the morning tomorrow. 

See you, then! :)


P.S. I will not allow anyone to bring me down again, to that level I was at before. 



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Monday, January 11, 2016 @ 1:36 PM
Feeling really sleepy now; perhaps I ought to take an afternoon nap?

A new pizza stall opened in our canteen! I shall try it soon :) Sometime within this week, if not today! Hahaha. The pizza slices look delicious ^^ Especially the one with loads of cheese on it.

Anyway, I was thinking that studying is really enjoyable sometimes, if it is something that is actually interesting to you :) Climate science sounds rather interesting and so I think I will enjoy the module ^^

Kkay I'm yawning quite a bit now. Time to go to bed! Haha see yah.
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Sunday, January 10, 2016 @ 10:17 PM
Free
Hellooo we're back in school and tomorrow will be the start of the new semester! Exciting, isn't it :x Hahaha I'm back in hall again and I am actually quite lazy to type now. Looks like next week is going to be a very busy week with me having meetings/stuff on every evening T_T Look at my schedule!!



Yeah so it's gonna be a busy week indeed! It's gonna be a busy semester too haha with all my seven modules and including research. Well. I'll get through it! Somehow. One way or another :) And at the same time I will not forget to do the things that are important to me! And socialise more too hahaha. Yes!

Just went to sing karaoke at Teoheng Rendezvous with Hao Lin Derrick Bin Hui Aolun and Yeyixin lololol it was quite interesting xD And then yesterday Jia Yi and I went to check out Altimate :) The club at the 61st level of One Raffles Place! It had an amazing view and good music (at the start) hahaha. And it was the first time that I could dance happily without drinking any alcohol and becoming intoxicated first xD Yay! This reminds me that there is really no need for alcohol, even as we are walking further into the so-called "adult world" where people are full of lies and facades and everything. We don't need alcohol to get high and enjoy ourselves :) I enjoyed yesterday night hehehe, it was great, even though it was just the two of us dancing there most of the time; I didn't feel the need to go and hook up/talk to other guys and have them treat us to drinks too because I was already feeling great without alcohol ;) I wonder why though? Is it because of the atmosphere? Or because I was feeling a little tired and so I was high on my tiredness? Hahaha. Or was it because I already spent the afternoon (or at least a part of it) performing (for Impresario Quarter Finals lol) and I didn't really feel self-conscious after that? In any case, no matter which of the above the answer is, I hope that this feeling will continue :) This ability to enjoy myself even without alcohol ^^

Haha yeah I forgot to mention that we could gain free entry because Mervin guestlisted us xD I'm still unsure of how this whole guestlisting thing works, but I'll slowly figure it out. It's great, actually, I've already enjoyed the perks of it three times under Mervin HAHA. There was that first time we got free entry at F Club, and then the New Year's Eve countdown party by the Bay, beside Fullerton Bay Hotel (excellent view of the fireworks and excellent food although I wasn't feeling too social towards the end) - I shall shamelessly post a selfie below because I dressed up quite a bit that night LOL - and then yesterday at Altimate xD HAHA I look forward to more of these opportunities!



Haha yes I am enjoying every bit of my life now xD I feel like I am honestly thriving! With all these great relationships with my friends and things that I am pursuing in my life (i.e. Japanese and anime :P) I am flourishing. Sexy free and single yo! And then next Friday it will be Bin Hui's commissioning ball during which I can dress up too wahahahas I am indeed looking forward to it ;)

I am glad that there are still seven more semesters left in college for me to explore and enjoy HAHA. And I'm glad that I have more or less decided the way I want to live my uni life; I'm glad that I realised within three months that the mugger life is 本当に what I do not want my college life to be, such that I will still have so much more time left to enjoy myself with. ^^ Life is great at the moment, yeah. I no longer feel restrained nor dissatisfied. I am finally feeling free. Free to go after the things I really want to go after, and to do the things that matter to me.

I am glad that I have set myself free
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Friday, January 8, 2016 @ 1:48 AM
有人的生日快到了哦!How do I feel about this? Hm, how should I put this... I guess I'm more or less ready to become twenty :) am just feeling a slight twinge of nostalgia for my teenage years though. I guess this is the same feeling I will be getting every time I hit a new number in the first digit of my age haha.... And then before you know it, time will pass you by and you will be carrying your grandchildren in your arms. Ah well! How was nineteen then, you may ask? Haha sooner or later we'd reach this question. Let's start a new paragraph to talk about it. :)

Nineteen was a year when I learnt many new things about myself, and the things I wanted to be as well as didn't want to be. It was the year I got back on track again after the somewhat dismal years of seventeen and eighteen, haha, and the year when I could completely relish the taste of freedom, from my past ideals, and of course, freedom in terms of choosing how I would like to live my life, without any form of constraints from anyone else. In fact, I am still relishing that freedom now, but the number two that will soon be in my age restrains me somewhat because there is a degree of responsibility tagged to that number, unlike the number nineteen. My apologies if I don't seem very coherent now; it is already 1.46am and I haven't really been speaking good English for the past few weeks, if not months.

Yep, and so I have a tiny bit of mixed feelings regarding turning twenty.

Anyway, the new year is here. Maybe I'll come back to write again when I feel like it. And maybe I will finally start getting more coherent as I write more. See you :)
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