some public
thoughts
& not-so deep secrets
tag please or die



huiting says hi

Welllllll this is the public blog, so the things written here should be more-or-less stomach-able. ;) So I guess this is where I say the mandatory line:

This blog documents the thoughts and growth process of:
A free soul roaming the world in search of some meaning to life.

Pretty sure that's not the exact way I phrased it when I had my old blog skin but WTV HAHA.

Oooooh wait I think I wrote it as "lonely soul" instead of "free soul". But hey guys I've grown out of that emoshitz phase already alright ;)

Enjoy.

人生就是要盡情地瘋 / I am a free soul.

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more of me

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Tuesday, March 31, 2015 @ 12:19 PM
Serendipity.
I feel like my blog is a place for me to cheer myself on HAHA after seeing all the previous posts with encouragement to myself. Anyways, looks like Berklee still cannot issue my admission decision yet because they haven't received my transcripts. LOL. So I guess the ECE Evaluation report was worth it then. We'll see how long they take to send loh. LOL. K can, another worry is down.

Can we go on a cruise during your block leave? Although it is unlikely that our parents would approve of it.. But sigh, sian, I wish we could have a few days (and nights) alone. Maybe even just one night is enough haha... An escape from our daily routines and life now. Have fun during this holiday, you know. Although I'm pretty sure that in uni we'll go overseas also lah.. but well :)

Pin Jia and Charlotte are so similar and yet so different from us. I have a feeling that the four of us are going to be great friends in future haha. Don't know how we reached this stage - probably a combination of fate and other things lol but here we are haha. And if the four of us are all going to enroll in NTU... amazing.

Serendipity.

:)
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@ 12:11 PM
Envy... or not.
Coen asked me a good question the other day.

Do I envy people?

There, I told him firmly and without hesitation: No, I do not. I may admire and respect people, but I do not envy them.

I guess I believe that I am happy the way I am... And I do want to believe that. If there is something I want to achieve after seeing others achieve it, I will put my words into action. I will not just slack around and mope and think that there are things that other people can do but which I can never achieve...

This is why an understanding of myself is so important to me? A lot of the times, I lose sight of my strengths and weaknesses. Or I overlook them. I think that I am ordinary. How do I find the balance? Of knowing my strengths and weaknesses and knowing that I am not that typical but at the same time knowing that I am also just another human, just that I have different strengths from people? Maybe by accepting that I am special in only a few areas? Or that the combination of my particular strengths and weaknesses is the thing that makes me special? Haha well...

Sometimes I see some things which people do and then I feel so discouraged about myself, you know? And I guess, yes, in those few seconds, I do envy people. But I talk myself out of it... Does this mean then that my natural instinct is to envy people, or to not envy people? Do these questions even matter? Haha well.

Maybe it's time for me to check my Berklee Admission Decision haha.

I really don't know what I am expecting.

所谓的百感交集吧。I know what that feels now, haha.

Anyway sekali I can't even check it cause the website crash from all the different applicants all over the world trying to check it lol.

Okay lah, time to go...
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Thursday, March 26, 2015 @ 8:57 PM
What a busy month March has been for me, with almost everyday filled with things to do (look at my planner).

Ah well. This is how I plan my time, I guess.

Yay, we are both NTU Scholars :)

I suppose this is the almost-conclusion of the period I dread the most?

Yep. There's nothing much more to worry about, actually. I ought to know that if I feel stressed, there is something wrong somewhere. And then I should take that thing out of my life.

Don't be so fixated over earning money now, darling. There are better things in life which you should look out for, and treasure.

Cheers.

The holidays are supposed to be a time for me to relax! Remember that! Relax and have fun in life! Don't keep postponing your fun! Do what you wanna do! The money is not important at all lah it is everywhere it will come. It's not like you will finish spending all that you have now or that you have no money to spend now!

Remember that, Goh.
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Thursday, March 5, 2015 @ 2:09 PM
Unexplained
Dear blog,

I am feeling so content now. I don't know how to describe this contentment, because it's the most hardcore one I've ever felt. I feel like my mind is floating on Cloud 9, and everything is so amazing and wonderful. That bowl of ipoh hor fun I ate just now, the bowl of grapes and strawberries I just finished, the music playing on my phone.

I feel like I am floating along and nothing really matters besides this deep feeling of contentment I am feeling right now. My mind is so relaxed. That's right - in the past it always felt like some tensed-up muscle, but now it's totally relaxed into a puddle of goo hahaha.

Did somebody sneak some drugs into my food just now or something? Because this is too amazing to be random lolol why am I feeling so happy with my life and everything that is going on currently? Why do I suddenly feel so thankful and grateful for everything that I am currently experiencing; it's like wow. Nothing actually irks me or annoys me or irritates me. Cool.

I guess I should go and take a nap now or something, seeyah.
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