some public
& not-so deep secrets
tag please or die

huiting says hi

Welllllll this is the public blog, so the things written here should be more-or-less stomach-able. ;) So I guess this is where I say the mandatory line:

This blog documents the thoughts and growth process of:
A free soul roaming the world in search of some meaning to life.

Pretty sure that's not the exact way I phrased it when I had my old blog skin but WTV HAHA.

Oooooh wait I think I wrote it as "lonely soul" instead of "free soul". But hey guys I've grown out of that emoshitz phase already alright ;)


人生就是要盡情地瘋 / I am a free soul.

more of me

Naruto: Hokage Funeral Theme (Guzheng) youtube instagram Facebook twitter & my dearest Ting Ting
Saturday, August 30, 2014 @ 12:23 PM
Am feeling restless and rather annoyed right now cause it seems like there is something wrong with my tablet (it just can't connect to/sense the keyboard argh why baby why do you do this to me :( I'm guessing it's the tablet's problem and not the keyboard's fault cause even after trying with my father's keyboard it doesn't work too.... Oh sigh I'm so sorry for the pain I've inflicted upon the keyboard over the past few months then always bending it this way and that in the hopes that the tablet can sense it ugh.

Okay sian I shall stop brooding over this issue sigh.
back to top?
Thursday, August 28, 2014 @ 7:43 PM
Inspirations/warnings/catcalls in my head
"At 19, I read a sentence that re-terraformed my head: “The level of matter in the universe has been constant since the Big Bang.” In all the aeons we have lost nothing, we have gained nothing - not a speck, not a grain, not a breath. The universe is simply a sealed, twisting kaleidoscope that has reordered itself a trillion trillion trillion times over.
Each baby, then, is a unique collision - a cocktail, a remix - of all that has come before: made from molecules of Napoleon and stardust and comets and whale tooth; colloidal mercury and Cleopatra’s breath: and with the same darkness that is between the stars between, and inside, our own atoms. When you know this, you suddenly see the crowded top deck of the bus, in the rain, as a miracle: this collection of people is by way of a starburst constellation. Families are bright, irregular-shaped nebulae. Finding a person you love is like galaxies colliding. We are all peculiar, unrepeatable, perambulating micro-universes - we have never been before and we will never be again. Oh God, the sheer exuberant, unlikely face of our existences. The honour of being alive. They will never be able to make you again. Don’t you dare waste a second of it thinking something better will happen when it ends. Don’t you dare."

Reblogged from dear Han Yi
back to top?
@ 7:36 PM
We all have nothing but everything.
I find it great how innately, we all have the ability to change our view of life and hence change how we actually live life. As much as the situations and various circumstances in life seem to be out of control, we can exert an influence over them - simply via how we perceive them and thus act on them. From there our lives would change too. Although the setting/occurrences themselves remain the same, somehow they would appear to have changed for the better.

For instance. Examinations.

We can treat them like something which someone (God? Our parents? Society?) has imposed on us, and be all stressed out by them. Or we could take them as a way of merely assessing how well we have learnt the content and the results doesn't matter that much anyway cause we wouldn't die from them; we can still survive and move on and improve ourselves.

Of course there's the argument of whether standardized examinations should be there in the first place but that's digressing from the topic at hand haha.

In some ways (to a rather large extent, actually) we do have a measure of control over our lives. And how we want to live them. I mean, okay, cliché, but you really do only live once. So why not make the best out of it and do what you can to enjoy it (as long as you don't die before you want to die LOL if not that defeats the purpose); why let the circumstances weigh you down. At the end of the day what would you regret anyway - not even trying or trying and realizing that it's not meant for you after all and then moving on?

I feel that life is changeable as the wind but we humans are pretty much flexible too.


And to you - my dear, I cannot claim to know you well. I cannot claim to know you at all. But I hope that you wouldn't let life's circumstances destroy you. My dear, sometimes holding on or appearing to hold on may seem "cool", or seem to be what one is supposed to do in emulation of that ideal state or whatever it is. But you know that that's not true. You know that there could be so much more to you, once you choose the way to lead your life. And I believe that everyone has that choice.
Jiayou, my friend.
back to top?
Monday, August 25, 2014 @ 9:12 PM
You centre me.
So this is how my two years of JC life went.
A huge chunk of excitement, adrenaline, confusion. Blundering madly, blindly into different things, probably trying to make some meaning out of life, doing things while I still can.
Well at that point of time I probably still thought that I had an aim and that I knew what I was doing.
But in retrospect if you look at my behavior as a whole... It looks like I'm just abandoning myself to my whims and fancies, although they are somewhat pointing in the same direction as what I envision myself to do now. Somewhat. A slight overall pull in this direction. But that's good enough, I guess. Haha.

So. Madness. Slight madness, actually. For the first three quarters of my JC life.
And then -


Things turned out to be real simple, actually. Once you have a goal. That radiates from within, regardless of your surroundings.

Meaning comes to you; you understand your actions and life so much better.
You feel as if you have stopped blundering and instead are walking calmly down the path of your life.

Well, not bad, then :) The time capsules containing our letters to ourselves will be given back to us soon. I still remember vividly the atmosphere in the classroom and the setting in which we wrote these letters to ourselves. But I can't remember all the details of the letter though.

Funny how two years pass by real quickly but then again they have been filled with quite a bit of happenings.

At least I didn't rot.
back to top?
Saturday, August 23, 2014 @ 8:01 PM
Well life has been pretty good for me these past few days. I'm beginning to see the beauty in life again. Funny how loving a person can open your eyes to life's wonders so much more easily (okay, perhaps I am exaggerating, perhaps it is not "so much" but it does make it easier for you to appreciate certain things which you have in life) (I am being really very open here since the few of you who regularly read my blog -cough- should already know what's going on in my life at the moment)

I heard that S72's girls are currently stalking my Instagram account and probably my Twitter account too since my accounts are always open to the public eye. Lololol. I should be lucky that I took down the link to this blog from those accounts a long time ago? Haha well. Anyway, this amuses me somewhat. I mean, am I really that interesting? I guess, if you consider it from another point of view, when you know the person whom I am together with but you don't know me, then well, perhaps I am some object of interest to you now. Lol. Especially since you've known him since 1.5 years ago. And this is some new development in his life.

But really, what's so fascinating about us? We're just like that lah. Nothing much. I mean, I've never really understood the fascination behind couples/scandals. Just let them be lah, all your twitterings and comments and snide looks and suggestive remarks could really affect them. If they are still unsure themselves, I mean. And even if they are already sure, what's the big deal man... To you third parties. To them, of course, it would be a huge change/development/progress in their lives but to you who has no stake whatsoever in this issue, why are you bothering them so much?

Well, maybe this stems from that little bit of jealousy we feel inside (aside from the other obvious reason that we want some entertainment in our lives) whenever we see somebody else in a blissful/thrilling relationship cause we all yearn to have someone to love and to have someone who loves us too. I guess that is something I could empathise with... This makes those third parties seem a little less spiteful and a little more human. Doesn't mean that I completely agree with this was of doing things though. But well, we have to live with it haha. And change with it. Yep. Always change with it.

And this is another thing which I've learnt from this relationship - that things can never be stagnant but it's alright cause we can always change along with them. We can adapt to new circumstances, and find a way to work things out somehow.

Which is good cause I've always been too stubborn a person haha.

Kay back to my first point.
"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage". - Lao Tzu
It's true, though. Perhaps humans all have an innate need to be loved. But not everybody may be able to find it in the form of a partner, hence they may turn to other more destructive sources of what they perceive as "love", i.e. controlling other people, exhibiting abusive behavior blah blah blah. Just a theory though, haha, but actually I'm pretty sure there'll be some research papers illustrating the correlation between these two factors. Ah, whatever.

In retrospect it seems rather amazing that we are where we are now. Amazing how it seemingly bloomed out of nowhere, but yet everywhere at the same time. Just the right person at the right time? So many factors deciding whether two people can come together and create this... astounding bond. Yet it happens all the time, every day, everywhere. Love is an interesting, intricate thing.

Okay lah enough rambling for today. Time to go do some ass/ab workout HAHA
back to top?
@ 11:20 AM
Ain't it nice this life we've found each other
When you love someone / your heartbeat beats so loud / When you love someone / your feet can't feel the ground / Shining stars all seem to congregate around your face / When you love someone / It comes back to you
back to top?
Monday, August 18, 2014 @ 7:16 PM
(please take care of my heart).
back to top?
Sunday, August 3, 2014 @ 11:32 AM
Ramblings/New Beginnings/Priorities/What is Life
Don't even know what I'm doing now LOL.
I realized that menstrual cramps really affect me a lot. When I am plagued by them I can do nothing else but laze around. Or lie around. Or watch tv or a video or listen to music or something. I can't really do any "official" work which I have to do...

Well that's why I didn't accomplish much academic stuff over the past two days :x

Anyway.... First gig with the MeePokGang later! Hahaha nice MeePokGang. But it is indeed pretty cool how we managed to come together. I feel quite blessed actually. And still kinda amazed how it just happened, you know. Haha. Well.

I guess I should be preparing/changing into my clothes now. Haha okay then. Don't know whether I should be worried or feeling pretty alright at my lack of academic progress/drive these two days though. Well.

At least my priorities are kinda set more right now. Or rather. They are much clearer to me now. Okay.

Me :)
back to top?
monthly archive

November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 February 2014 March 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 March 2017 April 2017 May 2017 June 2017 July 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 March 2018 April 2018 May 2018 June 2018 July 2018 August 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019 February 2019
recent entries

When the days are cold What to do? The Last Paradise Rationality? Logic? Well fuck you. Hawaii Contemplation. Best way to go about your day A Journey Somewhere I lost a piece of me; smoking cigarettes... what?