some public
thoughts
& not-so deep secrets
tag please or die



huiting says hi

Welllllll this is the public blog, so the things written here should be more-or-less stomach-able. ;) So I guess this is where I say the mandatory line:

This blog documents the thoughts and growth process of:
A free soul roaming the world in search of some meaning to life.

Pretty sure that's not the exact way I phrased it when I had my old blog skin but WTV HAHA.

Oooooh wait I think I wrote it as "lonely soul" instead of "free soul". But hey guys I've grown out of that emoshitz phase already alright ;)

Enjoy.

人生就是要盡情地瘋 / I am a free soul.

bolditalicunderlinestrikeout
more of me

Naruto: Hokage Funeral Theme (Guzheng) youtube instagram Facebook twitter & my dearest Ting Ting
Tuesday, June 11, 2013 @ 9:46 PM
Oh, well.
Sometimes I don't know what I want.

Sometimes I would get off the train and rejoice in the moments I can spend in the company of myself for the rest of the night, without caring about others. And then less than an hour later in my home I am forlorn, wondering why I made the decision I made, craving for your company.

I don't understand myself sometimes.

I don't understand how I can change so unpredictably. And all I can do is find a random topic and start a conversation with you. Hoping that it's not too weird. Accepting that it's not too weird. Accepting that as your friend, it is normal for me to randomly whatsapp you about some unusual thing I have encountered during the day.

I must constantly remind myself that I am lucky enough to have the liberty to do this, to not be bounded by any awkwardness. Except that feeling I get once in a while that I am bothering you and that I should not be doing whatever I'm doing. But most of the time I'm glad I'm able to just talk to you, to know that you're still alive and breathing somewhere out there even though I'm not with you.

So now you know, your happiness is my only concern.
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Thursday, June 6, 2013 @ 10:01 PM
By the way, I have decided that I will not continue escaping any more. I will face up to it and be whatever you need me to be. (:

I love you. 
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@ 10:00 PM
It gives us Strength
Don't you feel that blogging is very important sometimes to just clear your mind of all the fuzzy and random thoughts it has? By putting these thoughts into tangible lines and curves we are somehow solidifying and organising them! And it helps us get our heads straight(: This is why I feel that writing is essential, to me.

Oh man so much has been going on. And I think it's time I settled into bed and read one of my favourite books of all time - The Time Traveler's Wife(: I still remember the first time I finished reading it! I had a blog post on it hahaha. I still remember the details of the post! I cannot remember when it was though, so you could dig around for it if you are really interested. I really recommend this book for those who haven't read it before(: It talks about love, and life, and how those who are lost physically to us will always be with us in one way or another. Even if they are gone, they live on, within us.

And that gives us strength.
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Sunday, June 2, 2013 @ 1:25 PM
放心不下 - 黄小琥
深夜裡你的電話 靜靜的聽你講
累了嗎 我永遠為你留著一盞燈光
曾經 愛像一種互相懲罰
但你的幸福 卻依然是我唯一願望

還是好想抱著你
想代替你受傷
我心中 你永遠是上天給我的獎賞
就算你不瞭解我會多牽掛
我寧願我的愛鋪在你腳下
也不願把你捆綁

放心不下的只是你快樂嗎
放心不下恨不得我能在場
擁抱你最狼狽最疲倦最痛的摸樣

放心不下卻只能放你飛翔
給你的背影也要故作堅強
不管雨雪風霜
當你需要我的時候我都會在你身旁

哪怕世界比你想像的瘋狂
愛所以讓你去找你的解答
不在乎我被留下

放心不下的只是你快樂嗎
放心不下恨不得我能在場
擁抱你最狼狽最疲倦最痛的摸樣

放心不下卻只能放你飛翔
給你的背影也要故作堅強
不管雨雪風霜
當你需要我的時候我都會在你身旁

只要你記得有一個人愛你
不需要代價
想做你的力量不做你的重量

放心不下的只是你快樂嗎
放心不下恨不得我能在場
擁抱你最狼狽最疲倦最痛的摸樣

放心不下卻只能放你飛翔
給你的背影也要故作堅強
不管雨雪風霜
當你需要我的時候我都會在你身旁

多遙遠 我都會在你身旁
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@ 11:23 AM
What would you do.
我仍然在徘徊着,因为知道有些事不能去做,后果会比一时的快乐严重很多。所以我一直忍着,仍然忍着,永远都会忍着。

但是虽说如此。。。我也不知道我到底是盼望它能快快地消失掉呢,还是一辈子持续着。

现在可能因为有了外界的影响,它才再一次恢复了力量吧。

过了一阵子可能又会没事了。又会淡去了。

But sometimes you can't help but dream: what if? Though you know it would never happen but it still feels good to lose yourself in your imagination once in a while. Take yourself away. Hope that there's an audience there, watching you, hearing your thought. Sympathising. Empathising with you. And hopefully they would think about their own lives too.

But I don't think this is a story which would have a happy ending.

Why, because this is life? Sigh.
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Saturday, June 1, 2013 @ 11:48 AM
Adversity - continued
"During those times when things aren't going right
I know that you'll be by my side
Though the birds don't chirp any more
I see you, and I stand tall.

As we walk, my tears start to flow
But you reach out, and you warm my soul
Your hands, they clear my tears away
And I know that I'll be okay.

My heart beats on
Pain may be crippling me
But I know that I'll survive

Whenever darkness falls, we must still stand tall
No matter what we face, we must answer the call
I know through it all you'll stay with me
It gives me such hope and certainty
To conquer the world and adversity

The stars shine bright with fierce belief
Our hands are intertwined; our souls set free
I'm certain through it all you'll stay with me
Together we shall brave the skies and seas
To conquer the world and adversity."

- 29/5/2013
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@ 11:40 AM
Thoughts
It's the first day of June today. Oh how quickly time flies. I can still remember the period when I first set up this blog. The December holidays of my Sec 2 life. And I remember going to Lishuen's house to practise for my first ever singing performance. How quickly time flies. And now it's the holidays again.

On hindsight, it is pretty unbelievable that a quarter of our JC lives is gone already. Where did all that time go? I can remember everything I've done in this year thus far. But still it's quite scary how time is slipping away from between my fingers much more quickly than ever. And even as I try to hold on to it it is like a slippery, slimy eel, thrashing and disallowing me to have control over it.

I've just finished reading a novel for young adults. Its title is When She Was Good. And though I only picked it up last night I managed to finish it this morning. Has my reading speed increased or..?

The last time I read it I was probably still very young. I do remember bits and pieces of what happened in the story though. But I'm sure that the way I perceived the events was very much different from now. I have a wider world view. I understand things more now. And I can related much more to the story. To the girl. To Em. Though I have never experienced the same thing before, some experiences evoke the same kind of feelings and emotions within you. And from there you empathise, in one way or another.

I am quite glad for the General Paper homework which we have received for the holidays. It gives me a reason to read. Reading enlightens my soul. For the past half a year I haven't read much. And so I am trapped within this cycle of reality. Never thinking. Only doing. Doing things without thinking about things much. How ironic, really, that I am supposed to think more about my future in JC. I am thinking about my future, but these don't contribute to the development of my character in any way. Hm.

It's 1st June... The feeling of the holidays is back again, as if it has never gone away. As if these past five months were merely a break from the holidays, and now the holidays are back. Hm. I like thinking of the school term in this way. Instead of being the main part of my life, it is merely a break. And the holidays are actually more of my life than a break. How interesting(:

But yes, I feel like I can control my life much more now. The routine is coming back. How I can grasp time in my own hands. Plan time however I want it. Use it to study for my tests, and use it to play. I know that I can create a balance. I know that I have the power to do so. And I am happy for it.

I am more or less back to normal. Though I feel tinges of loneliness at times.

We have the power to control time.
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recent entries

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