some public
& not-so deep secrets
tag please or die

huiting says hi

Welllllll this is the public blog, so the things written here should be more-or-less stomach-able. ;) So I guess this is where I say the mandatory line:

This blog documents the thoughts and growth process of:
A free soul roaming the world in search of some meaning to life.

Pretty sure that's not the exact way I phrased it when I had my old blog skin but WTV HAHA.

Oooooh wait I think I wrote it as "lonely soul" instead of "free soul". But hey guys I've grown out of that emoshitz phase already alright ;)


人生就是要盡情地瘋 / I am a free soul.

more of me

Naruto: Hokage Funeral Theme (Guzheng) youtube instagram Facebook twitter & my dearest Ting Ting
Sunday, May 26, 2013 @ 11:26 AM
"There are times when things aren't going right
When you walk alone through the night
Even the birds don't chirp any more
In every state, the Sun falls

As you walk, the tears start to flow
The memories flood back in one go
You try to clear them all away
But it feels like they're here to stay

Your heart beats on
Pain may be crippling you
But you know you'll survive
Cause pain is part of life

Whenever darkness falls we must still stand tall
No matter what we face, we must answer the call
I know through it all you'll stay with me
It gives me such hope and certainty
To conquer the world and adversity"
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@ 11:19 AM
Let go and be happy.
We are still the same, actually.
Things are still the same.
It's just whether or not you want to see it that way.

Though different people may have come into our lives. And by that, I mean really tons of different people. But that's the thing - they are different. There's no one there who's completely identical to you. And so there is no way anyone could take your place.

Unless you let that person take it.

You could just sit by and think "oh she doesn't need you any more". Or you could acknowledge yourself and have more confidence in yourself.

It's just the way you view things. If you believe that this bunch of people can be close to you. If you allow them to be close to you. If you open up yourself to them. Then there is no reason why you would be so miserable now.

I think your greatest weakness lies in your disability to let go. You keep holding on to the past. Holding on so tightly to the events of the past. And failing to acknowledge that change is already a part of your life. And that it's inevitable. In this ever-changing world if you only know how to live in the past then you would never progress. And you would forever reside in a state of misery.

Don't be like your father.

Let go. Some things, you have to let go. Some things, they are worth letting go, so that you don't bar yourself from the other opportunities to be happy. Stop holding on to them and let go.

They might have been brilliant in the past but the fact is that they are over already. We have reached a new phase, a new stage of your life now. And what belongs here isn't the past.

You can't just forcefully fit things in here.

So let go. Learn how to live with the new things. Because there is no point in holding on so tightly when the time for it has passed already.

You just have to believe in fate and keep faith that this is the way things should be. The people who are supposed to be in your life will be there. The people who have left/will leave your life have already completed what they have come for. And they have left multiple footsteps there, which you would never forget.

So, revel in the present, and be happy.
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Thursday, May 23, 2013 @ 8:18 PM
I should have more faith in you.
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@ 8:16 PM
Human nature
You know what?

I think that you are a believer of choice too.

Just that you are afraid that choice alone might not allow you to have the outcome you desire sometimes.
And so you shift the burden to fate.

This isn't a bad thing though.

How many of us can say that we are able to fully face up to the consequences of what we choose?

We are still afraid of the unknown, after all. 
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Wednesday, May 22, 2013 @ 11:53 PM
And so the time has come.
I am really running for this spot.

I have to quit my bad habit of being indecisive. It's just like what Mr Poh said at the beginning of the year. I have to make decisions and stick to them.

And you know what, these few days I've finally felt loved.
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Tuesday, May 21, 2013 @ 10:46 PM
Thoughts, thoughts, waterflow.
Hello. Life has been overwhelming these few months. I don't even know where to begin. All I know is that somehow along the way my language abilities have vastly deteriorated O: And that is not a good sign at all. Ugh.

Today while reading through my essay I found so many awkward phrasings in my answer. Man. I think my language marks will finally be lower than my content marks. I don't know whether this should be lauded or not. Though it's quite lucky that there was a topic I could completely relate to and argue in a persuasive way. I think that's one of the advantages of owning a blog too. Whenever I have a strong opinion about something I can type it out. And debate it with myself. And thus from there perfect theses and antitheses can be formed. And it would aid me in my essay writing.

I think the range of vocabulary I possess is painfully limited. It's not stagnant. It is going backwards. I have stopped using English for such a long period of time that I have forgotten some of the things I could do with this beautiful language. Just look at the difference between this blog post and the previous posts, say, from last year. Ugh. What a waste.

And what I'm afraid of is that my Chinese is deteriorating as well. I am well aware that I will barely have any more contact with this language. And it saddens me. It is my mother tongue, after all): And I cannot believe that I managed to score an A1 for the O Levels.

Sigh. Results aren't everything in life. The number of As on your A and O level certs do not actually matter because it is the life skills you learn from there which are the most important. And maybe the friends you make then too. Learning how to interact with other humans beings in a non-awkward way. In a way which would get them to like you so that it would be easier for you to collaborate with them in the future.

I don't even know what I am writing now because I am typing out all the thoughts which are coming to my brain. Well I guess this is a good typing exercise. I can train and improve my typing speed. Wahahahas.

Coming back to the topic... I am really unsure of what to choose. Suddenly, there are so many options being presented to me. Being brought to me on a silver tray with a red silk cloth adorning it. And then I find myself being unable to choose.

I chose to go to huangcheng. I chose to go to MAD. And now I may or may not be choosing to pull out of it. But one thing I'm sure about, though, is that I will remain in HCJam no matter what.

HCJam is my life. Singing is my life. And we have already established that since a long time ago.

It's just that I feel that I can achieve much more than just singing especially since I would be missing quite a lot of the vocal lessons due to SMTP enrichment on Tuesday):

Speaking of which next Tuesday is a day to look forward to. And I cannot believe that the school week is going to end tomorrow. Of course, there's still Home-based learning, but you can't really count that as "school", can you.

Aish. My options....

But yeah, right now I'm choosing to stay with her too.
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Saturday, May 18, 2013 @ 9:39 PM

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@ 9:30 PM
從前對著收音機 學唱舊的歌
我問媽媽為什麼 傷心像快樂
媽媽笑著 說她也不懂得 我想出去走一走 喔 媽媽點點頭
天冷你就回來 別在風中徘徊 喔 媽媽眼裡有明白 還有一絲無奈
天冷我想回家 童年已經不在 昨天的雨點灑下來 那滋味叫做愛

漸漸對著收音機 學唱新的歌
我問朋友為什麼 作夢也快樂
朋友笑說 她從不相信夢 我想出去走一走 哦 朋友點點頭
天冷你就回來 別在風中徘徊 朋友的眼裡有明白 還有一份期待
天冷我想回家 年少已經不在 今天的雨點灑下來 那滋味就是愛

現在對著收音機 聽自己唱的歌
我的他問為什麼 幸福不快樂
我微笑著 說我也不懂得 他想出去走一走 我對他點點頭
天冷你就回來 別在風中徘徊 我猜我眼裡有明白 還有一絲無奈
天冷他沒回家 我仍然在等待 明天的雨點灑下來 那滋味就是愛
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Monday, May 13, 2013 @ 9:54 PM
I love how 坦白 I can be with you. Just saying. Hahahahaha.

And above all I am really just glad that you are still you somewhere there, the you I love, the you I know. The you I am crazy with, not awkward with, and whom I can remain friends with.

The you who makes me warm(: The you who brings out the warm side of me, such that I am no longer such a cold-hearted and distant person. Even though I don't love you in that way, I am supremely glad for it. Glad that there is something else there besides those meagre romantic feelings. Glad that we have a strong base we can always fall back on.

And yes, it's true, if you can tell me that you will continue being like that with me if I continue treating you so nicely, I will treat you nicely forever.

I am so glad that I have this person in my life whom I love in such a special way.
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