some public
thoughts
& not-so deep secrets
tag please or die



huiting says hi

Welllllll this is the public blog, so the things written here should be more-or-less stomach-able. ;) So I guess this is where I say the mandatory line:

This blog documents the thoughts and growth process of:
A free soul roaming the world in search of some meaning to life.

Pretty sure that's not the exact way I phrased it when I had my old blog skin but WTV HAHA.

Oooooh wait I think I wrote it as "lonely soul" instead of "free soul". But hey guys I've grown out of that emoshitz phase already alright ;)

Enjoy.

人生就是要盡情地瘋 / I am a free soul.

bolditalicunderlinestrikeout
more of me

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011 @ 9:12 PM
No Surprise.
Listening to No Surprise reminds me so much about you.
It still gives me goosebumps.
I'm reminded of the time when we were still friends. And I camped at your blog everyday, listening to those three songs.
晴天, then No Surprise, then the piano version of 龙卷风。
I cannot believe it. It's been more than two years and it's still so close to me.
Used to jump everytime I heard 晴天. But I'm used to it now. No Surprise is still new. I could cry.
And then I realised that it's still all in there with me somewhere. Close to my heart.
Nothing is forgotten. We just leave it in a place, abandoned, temporarily.
But then we hear something, see something that brings those memories back to our minds. Immediately. Shockingly. It hits you straight on.
I miss you.
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Monday, August 29, 2011 @ 12:29 PM
Better.

I feel much better after the meal. Saner. I can control my thoughts again. What I want. To think. Good.

It was quite a nice meal. Fried rice and veggies and some meat in tomato sauce. Better. But I'll still go off to Orchard later. Takashimaya. Have a sudden urge to go there. Okay Bye Imma finish designing the poster for SMP then go.

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@ 12:00 PM
Crazy.

Hi I'm damn freaking screwed up I just wasted the whole morning away and I have this feeling that I'd waste the afternoon away too D: It's already 12.02pm! Gah. Damn it it's the weather's fault lah. So cold and cool): I just keep strolling to the bedroom and plonking on the bed and closing my eyes for several long moments. And time just flies by like that. And when I wake up I'm still tired ._. And it doesn't help that I'm having my period and my abdomen feels cramped up once in a while either. I forgot that I was having my period yesterday and went to drink a lot of mouthfuls of cold honey milk tea from Koi -_-

Damn sian. Play guitar also sian, do work also sian, play com also sian. Everything also damn sian lah what the hell. I tried filing my IH stuff but it's still in a big mess now and I just can't concentrate enough to do it. I wish I could have some place to go to, where someone will order me around and I will have to serve customers happily. Not stuck here, trying to force myself to do work but just slipping away. Argh.

Had enough sleep too; slept from 12+ last night after watching Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides to 7+ where I woke up and then bathed or something and went back to sleep again, until 9 or 8.30 when I really woke. Then did some crap, AND WASTED ALL THIS TIME AWAY. I can't concentrate! Really! Not even when reading Harry Potter or whatever book. Argh. I want to go out somewhere and work, like serve people stuff and help them look for what they want, you know. ._. Sian lah kns. Mustard Seed is not open today D: And so I can't go and ask Tr Ying Ying to boss me around there. Sigh. It won't be open tomorrow or anytime in the week too..

Should I buy anything for the teachers? I haven't really bought anything O: Didn't really think about it :/ But I don't know what to buy also. Don't really have the mood now. Actually I think if I really force myself to go out I would just have the mood to walk around looking at stuff and thinking about whether people like it or not, whether it's the best one or not. God yes that's what I need to do. To get out. I think I will die soon if I don't get out of this place ._. Argh okay. I shall go to Orchard? City hall? To see guitars etc. And maybe big bookshop. Shibin said that they sell guitars at $59 or something. Probably some lousy cheapskate one, but just see first. It's most probably a classical guitar. Sigh. Acoustic guitars... at $59? The sound won't be nice. Oh God. I need to get out of here. To travel somewhere. I'm sick of sitting down and not moving.

I don't have the appetite to eat now and the smell of food actually disgusts me. I don't know whether it's the fault of the weather or my period or a combination of the two. My stomach feels bloated and queasy. Argh. I can't read anything now, no patience to read Harry Potter or anything at all. Oh God shit I just want to go out and explore and walk slowly D: I should do that. Really. I shall do that later. And hopefully tomorrow I will get back to being me. Argh okay bye.

See you.

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Sunday, August 21, 2011 @ 8:20 PM
Water

Water

It was a Maine Lobster town -
each morning boatloads of hands
pushed off for granite
quarries on the islands,

and left dozens of bleak
white frame houses stuck
like oyster shells
on a hill of rock,

and below us, the sea lapped
the raw little match-stick
mazes of a weir,
where the fish for bait were trapped.

Remember? We sat on a slab of rock.
From this distance in time
it seems the colour
of iris, rotting and turning purpler,

but it was only
the usual grey rock
turning the usual green
when drenched by the sea.

The sea drenched the rock
at our feet all day,
and kept tearing away
flake after flake.

One night you dreamed
you were a mermaid clinging to a wharf-pile,
and trying to pull
off the barnacles with your hands.

We wished our two souls
might return like gulls
to the rock. In the end,
the water was too cold for us.

-Robert Lowell

Beautiful.

------------------------------------------

This is a beautiful poem about love and loss and memories. I can feel the slight pain, the longing for the past. To go back to that perfect day some time ago, when you were together.

But you realise that it's impossible. No matter how hard you try, you can never re-enact that scence until it's exactly the same as before. It's only in your memories. And your memories are just mere shadows of that event too. So in other words, it's gone, it's gone forever and it will never come back. Nothing lasts. I see now.

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Wednesday, August 17, 2011 @ 10:27 PM
I LIVE IN MI-SE-RY!

For the title up there, it's actually sung and not said. In other words, it's not just me randomly shouting "I live in miseryyy!" but me singing "I-live-in-mi-se-ry!"

I'm hugging kapibarasan now! I love kapibarasan and its smell :D so nice and soft and nice to hug <3 Oh gosh I think I was hugging it the first time I watched Titanic! At home, when everyone else was asleep/not here. My parents and brother were overseas and my other brother was at his camp staying over I think. So I watched it by myself. And I cried like hell. And besides that, after watching, I went to bed, and I cried like hell too before falling asleep. Like hell. Like really hell. And I was hugging kapibarasan the whole time :D If you are not sure what/who kapibarasan is go google the name hahaha.

The one I have at home is just the right size and shape to hug. And its fur is damn nice. That's why I like it :D But I haven't had the chance to hug it in a while. Cause I sort of forgot about it haha. But that's not the point lol.

The point is, we will be having our Chemistry SPA tomorrow! And since it is 10.33 pm I should go to bed now. Tatas xD Someday I will watch Titanic by myself when I'm alone at home again and no one is there to disturb me or pull me out of the show. I think I was very into the show and that's why I cried. Of course. I mean, like, if you are not into the show at all, if you don't feel connected to the show, then you won't feel what the characters feel, and you won't empathise and you won't cry. I remember my tears then were not completely tears of sorrow. They held a little joy in them too. A bittersweet joy - akin to that which I felt after finishing The Time Traveler's Wife. But this is somehow more joyful. Because in the Time Traveler's Wife, she's only waiting for just that one moment. One moment only. All those years boiling down to that one moment. But for Titanic, you know that Jack is gone forever. Just that he is forever living in her heart as a memory, a flesh memory that cannot be eroded. Imprinted in her life forever. She will forever have traces of him in her. He lives on; his courage, bravery, selflessness and the change he brought about on her lives on. And so that is not really a sad ending. It is so full of hope!

The Time Traveler's Wife, however, ended on a more sombre mood, because it's just that one meeting of a few minutes where you are looking forward to after 50 years of waiting. That's long. And unfamiliar. But then again, familiar. But it's not as hopeful and perfect in that sense as Titanic's. There will always be that bit of longing somewhere.

Nevertheless, both stories are priceless and original. And I will never regret knowing about them :D

I like Leonardo DiCaprio man. Seriously, how cool can your name get?

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Monday, August 15, 2011 @ 7:58 PM
Think

In this long meandering journey we know as life, it is easy to forget sometimes that there is something worth more than results and physical things we see on paper and in report books. Somehow, most of the time, we just can't seem to get over the fact. It's embedded in our minds. Until something happens, something rare, that enlightens you once again. That life is not just all about what you achieve.

Sometimes we may know it, but we ourselves are not convinced thoroughly by it. Then, it would be just a fading shadow in our mind, a sentence that is shallow, that we can see but which actually does not exist. This would be equivalent to not knowing the thought at all, because it doesn't contain any meaning. It is just a shadow of the real thing. And when you can't even convince yourself of it, you would not be able to convince others. And so it is meaningless. Contentless.

I need sleep.

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Thursday, August 11, 2011 @ 7:43 PM
我会一直想着你

I am already missing having a guitar to play at home D: And guess what, according to jiayi, her guitar cost like 200+ RM wthey -_- Walao Singapore shops really cheat money lah kns. Seriously?! A good folk guitar for only around 90 Sing. dollars?! Can go die man. I won't trust Yamaha again LOL.

Yes and someday I will go to Malaysia to buy a nice guitar for myself for only 90 dollars. Either that or I'll ask Jiayi to buy for me. September holidays coming soon, if she goes home then she can buy a guitar for me! :D But first I'll have to clarify once again the difference between a folk guitar, acoustic guitar and classical guitar ._. But eh the thing is if she's the one who buys the guitar for me then I won't be able to try it out there myself! This is bad D: Or should I just ask her where the shop is? Then we can all trot over there someday for me to get my guitar :D One that suits me. Lalala. That's good.

Okay I shall read "I Am" now and come up with my questions then watch dachangjin then sleep. My throat is really irritating me. Gotta eat vitamin C. And ask mum for cough medicine and whatever that will help relieve the bloody damn cough. Argh. Bye.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2011 @ 10:43 PM

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams would take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again

I love you.


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@ 4:37 PM
Such is the power of the music I love.

The guitar will be going back to its beloved owner tomorrow! I hope it has had a nice stay here, at my house. Hehe I hoped it hasn't suffered too much under me, what with me taking it out and playing it every few hours and stuff xD But then again, if you look at it from another point of view, whenever I strum it, it could be an act of love! So either it has suffered a lot or enjoyed a lot O:

Okay this is starting to sound weird. But anyway, it will be gone soon! D: And I won't have any guitar to strum at home already D: It's quite amazing actually, what I've gone through in these six days. O: Seems short. But then again, seems so long! I've actually created such a deep bond between myself and the guitar. It's a part of me now! Just like guzheng and singing. Haha. Yay to my pursue of music. It's like a journey, you know. For every new instrument that I learn how to play, I discover a whole new place for me to venture into! Every instrument enlightens me. It's like I've been walking in darkness, and then I suddenly can see this small part of the world. Then I learn more, and see more as well.

I don't know why, but piano doesn't seem that crucial any more. Perhaps I realised finally that it isn't the only instrument in the world! There are so many other possibilities too! But I still wanna learn how to play the piano(: It's quite nice, though not as invincible as it had seemed to me before. Lalalalala.

Anyway, see you all soon(:

Some day I will own a guitar like this one, I promise you.

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Tuesday, August 9, 2011 @ 2:00 PM
Happy Birthday.

Hello I'm at Kellynn's house now :D Using her fujitsu laptop to blog lolol. And she has to go in fifteen minutes which means that I have to go in fifteen minutes too! She's choosing her clothes now :D I think she's going to her friend's house fo a surprise birthday party or something. Ah welll. Not like 6G lah, 6G damn fail HAHA.

Yay we just finished making some props :D I love our apple! It's nice. Lol. Looks abit like Apple's apple but lalalalalalalal it doesn't have a bite in it. I forgot what I wanted to say. Oh yah I am so proud of myself for coming here and committing to this and taking time and responsibility for this. Woohoos. And I love Singapore. I'm wearing the heart-shaped Singapore flag collar pin now on the left side of my tank top (: It's kinda irritating cause it keeps getting covered by my vest -_- but I'm sticking my vest underneath it so it stands out :D We love Singapore!

You know I was thinking just now that it's kind of annoying that we have to meet up on National Day etc when it's supposed to be a holiday for us all to spend time with our families and sing Happy Birthday to the nation D: But well, what to do? We've committed ourselves to this and this is what we should do. What we have to do. This is the meaning of responsibility and commitment! I feel grown-up :D

And last night I had a very vivid dream. About (okay let's call the person A) A. It was weird, cause it has been such a long time since A went off. Or rather, since I was in contact with A. And then I don't know what triggered me to have that dream about A. It was quite weird, if you look at it from a normal person's point of view o_o but then again, most dreams are weird lah haha. Some things make perfect sense in a dream even though they are actually nonsense in real life.


Ah gah I will talk more about it later cause we got to go now D: Bye! <3

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Sunday, August 7, 2011 @ 2:18 PM
Wishes.

I must restrain myself from playing the guitar because if I play too much my fingers will screw up and I can stop thinking about playing the guitar in the future already.

I must restrain myself from playing the guitar because if I play too much my fingers will screw up and I can stop thinking about playing the guitar in the future already.

I must restrain myself from playing the guitar because if I play too much my fingers will screw up and I can stop thinking about playing the guitar in the future already.

I must restrain myself from playing the guitar because if I play too much my fingers will screw up and I can stop thinking about playing the guitar in the future already.

I must restrain myself from playing the guitar because if I play too much my fingers will screw up and I can stop thinking about playing the guitar in the future already.

Yep there you go. I will stop playing the guitar until evening after my tuition haha. And meanwhile, I should start thinking about where to go to buy a guitar 8D Plaza Sing? Maybe. There's a yamaha music shop there. Lalala okay. That was where my parents bought my brother the keyboard and also his guitar many years ago. Yup I'll go there 8D See you, next time, next week, probably with a guitar of my very own wahahahahas okay bye I got to go for tuition now.

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Friday, August 5, 2011 @ 7:06 PM
In a heartbeat

Just spent more than one hour learning to play to guitar! :D Learnt how to play love story, though it's still not very smooth. And I like the key at which the website set the song at! It's a little lower than her original key, and easier to sing along with :D Woohoos! Okay to be honest it's really not smooth, I have to pause between transition of chords, but at least I know how to play it! :D Woohoos.

Yep and as you may already have seen on facebook, my left fingertips are like darker red in colour, I think a lot of capillaries have burst :D Sorry hands, but I'm sorry there's no help for it :x Haha somehow when I was playing I didn't care so much about the pain xD It was painful at first but once I started learning to play love story it suddenly didn't matter! And it's like kinda numb. Half-numb. It's still half numb now. Oh well. I would have to pay for it tomorrow :x I think there'll be like these mini bruises on the tips of my fingers and I won't be able to play again in a while because it's really too painful :x So cool! I like playing the guitar! And I wanna buy one D: As I've said earlier it's not that ex after all! So I can buy it :D Haha this is like some new obsession of mine xD

Well, see you! Hanyi I hope you liked the present :D The wrapping damn nice right. HAHA. Sorry but I love wrapping stuffs so yeah :x I like the rose too! That's one of the best roses that I've folded :D Probably because it's been two months since I last folded them. Eh. Two months only? Why does it seem to be such a long time ago that I celebrated my mother's birthday for her? Hm. Apparently a lot happened in the June holidays and the end of May and July D: Oh gosh national day is coming soon. So fast! I love Singapore <3 I think the theme song for this year is not bad. Though they took quite a long time to come up with it because of the delay due to the dumb funpack song ._. Oh well. At least it came out :D and there's a nice meaning behind it! The melody is nice too. Not like I see the moon and the stars etc LOL. Ehh but I noticed that these few years they've stopped creating the Chinese version of the theme song for each year D: So sad. Oh well, I suppose it's not as bad as having bad songs....

Okay, bye, I should go now :D And complete 8700 of EPGY or something. Bye! :D

Don't know what this book is about, but maybe someday I'll read it O: The cover page is nice(:

Your heart matters.

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Thursday, August 4, 2011 @ 5:15 PM
The Gift of Life.

Yay I've just finished wrapping a present :D It just makes me happy somehow, the process of wrapping presents. When I buy something for someone, or wrap a gift for someone, I'll always have this image of that person smiling in my head. I visualise them being glad because of the gift I've gotten them; they like the present in my head. Even though eventually they may not have the same reaction as I've visualised them to have, that image of them smiling while I buy or wrap the present is enough already. I guess that this is one of the things that I can be sure of in my life and of myself. I like giving presents!

Perhaps this has got something to do with the rare probability of me getting a present for someone. Or perhaps it's just in me to do this. I think it's the latter :D It's nice to know that there's some part of me deep in there that is actually genuinely good. I don't give presents because I want that person to give me a present in exchange for the gift I got them. Most of the time when I decide to buy something for someone, it's because of the smile that I see in my mind :D Yay, this is good!

Block tests are over already. It doesn't seem to matter that much, as a matter of fact. It just feels normal. Like a normal week of school where we take tests. The tests themselves don't even matter that much to me. Like I said, I was genuinely glad about knowing how to solve that Math question. The one which involved describing how to draw the graph of y=x/(x-1) from y=1/(x-1). It's a start.

Oh, I have also discovered my passion for playing the guitar. It is indeed a wonderful feeling when you just sit there with the guitar in your lap and strum the chords to whatever song you want to play or listen to. The guitar is such a gentle and loveable instrument :D Crisp sounds of the notes. Not really melodious, no, that's not the word to describe it. It's very 清爽。 And it's easy to pick up too - you don't need to go for lessons to know how to play the guitar :D You just have to learn the fingering of the different chords and that is available everywhere on the internet. So, the most basic thing is to get a guitar(: And I suppose that will be my next goal! It's not very expensive to buy a guitar, actually. I'm sure that there'll even be secondhand guitars which costs less than one hundred dollars :D I can just pay for it by myself! The normal average guitar doesn't cost that much too. Perhaps just a hundred plus dollars. That is less than the price of a linjunjie concert ticket -_- and of my mum's birthday present. Haha. Yay, this is awesome! And I would love playing the guitar wholeheartedly. I wanna buy a guitar!

Another goal to work towards(:

The Gift of Life

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Wednesday, August 3, 2011 @ 7:07 PM
dedication.

Omg I cannot believe someone is actually willing to spend 34 minutes on something for me! D: So touching. Haha I think 'gifts' is my secondary love language 8D I think the primary one is words of affirmation for me O: touch doesn't really seem to be it. Acts of service and quality time... maybe. But not as much. Oh well. So cool, I've found my love languages! 8D

I think 'gifts' is my secondary love language because I've never really received many gifts before O: As in, "gifts" as in those that are nicely wrapped up or something. Or just something that someone bought for me without telling me beforehand or without me being there. I know my mum buying concert tickets/movie tickets/clothes for me are kinds of gifts as well, but in this case I'm talking about the kind where you "surprise" people, you know?

Anyway, yes, cause I haven't really received many wrapped-up gifts or whatever. So it's kinda rare when I receive one O: And therefore that sort of raises the value of gifts? Oh well.

Anyway, I realise that I have been spending a lot of money this year D: $158 for linjunjie concert, 200+ for the ocean butterflies concert with my mum and brothers, $200 for my mum's birthday gift (oh God did I really spend that much how come I don't remember it being so significant) etcetcetc. And my brother bought a new laptop - $2500+. And then there's the class 2 bike my brother's going to buy. $7000 plus. Then there's my brother's university school fees D: Oh God, do we really spend this much every year? Why does it suddenly seem to increase by such a significant amount this year? D: And my brother's fine cause he exceeded speed limit lol. $150 or something. What the freakkkkk why so much money gone. And freaking learning lab fees that I have to pay. My mum, actually. But my family as a whole. But gah sian. So ex! And my singing lessons fees D: sighhhhhhhhh. But really, singing is a part of me now, you can't take it away from me. So yeah.

Sigh. And I want to start learning piano in December D: why so much! That's why I want to work in December so that I can earn more money D: I'll give all that money to my mum for her to pay less for my piano lessons... D: Sigh. As one grows older, one's desires will start to cost more... It was such a long time ago that just a packet of ribena or sweets can satisfy our desires and bloat our happiness bubble for a few days. And that was $2. Or less. Sigh. Never mind, this is a fact of life. And we shall find ways to conquer it!

Okay, see you, bye(: I shall watch a movie tonight. I don't know what, perhaps pirates of the caribbean(: It makes me happy <3

From Nicole
03-08-10

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Tuesday, August 2, 2011 @ 6:39 PM
and until that day you know you are the queen of my heart

I was ridin shotgun with my hair undone in the front seat of his car
He's got one hand, baby, on the steering wheel, the other on my heart
I look around, turn the radio down he says baby is something wrong
I say nothing I was just thinking how we don't have a song
And he says

Our song is the slamming screen door, sneaking out late tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
the first date man I didn't kiss her and I should have

And when I got home
before I said Amen
Asking God if he could play it again

:D


:D

My mum and I just went to the NTUC near her office and bought a lot of stuff :x I am really going to get fat with all these excessive food in the house gah. Now there's this huge new can of biscuits, this tin of Redondo cookies and cream wafer sticks, 2 yanyans D: And a lot of ritz-like biscuits-but-which-are-not-from-the-brand-ritz. Oh and this huge container of ice cream. Wall's selection, double dutch flavoured. Oh God. Tell me how I am going to stop myself from getting fat? I'll just keep eating and eating and eating! Furthermore my 2nd brother is not at home now cause he's at NUS camping D: Orientation camp. Haha so cool right he's like going to university now 8D First day of university! Okay actually not first day, since he started yesterday. Actually technically yesterday was not the first day as well because it's just the beginning of the camp and not the lessons themselves. But still! 8D so exciting! I wanna go to a new school too! HAHA.

Don't get me wrong, I still love nanyang. Like, nanyang is awesome. Just awesome. I've met chaojiwudi duo good friends there. So much better than my situation in nanhua :x haha. I don't know why but in nanhua I had a limited number of friends. Maybe because we're all girls in nanyang and we communicate more easily? Or perhaps we know what we really want to look for in a friend now so we just have more friends o_o Or perhaps knowing my batchmates also increased the number of friends I have because I never used to be that close to people from guzheng in nanhua. Oh well. Now we're close to our juniors and seniors as well :D Last time you just don't seem to be that close emotionally to them... Oh well.

I think I have to read more books -_- I've been replacing reading time with other activities nowadays. Because of block tests, of course. And maybe because I chose to watch movies instead of read during my free time. But this is not good - obviously - because my command of the English language has - obviously - been worsening D: This is bad. Why are my language skills so connected to the amount of time I spend reading D:

OH GOD I CAN'T STAND THE LAMENESS OF NSC. Haha sorry. but really, it's kinda lame... I suppose it will be very interesting and captivating to you if you are a child? :/ But sorry, it doesn't appeal very much to me :x

Sorry for writing about Bieber haha. I like Bieber! I think he's not bad lah. Quite pro. Got solid talent. And I love Lady Gaga too cause she's really awesome. The songs she writes are quite full of meaning. Interesting metaphors. Different points of view. Good! :D And I think she's a nice person if you meet her in person. I think her personality contrasts with her outer appearance o_o Go look at the "behind the scenes for poker face" on youtube and you'll see why :D Quick everyone go watch nsc now and sms the correct answer for the audience participation round! Then you can win an iPod ;D

Okay bye I go eat! Then study later :D I have questions for Physics! Physics is fun, by the way xD I love understanding stuffs.

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Monday, August 1, 2011 @ 2:13 PM
Where my dreams wait for me;

I am going to get fat from all this excessive eating.

How do you make biscuits, I wonder? I think it is quite miraculous, that flour can actually turn into this crispy crunchy thing that is sweet and dry and nice with heat. And they have very nice shapes. And they hold their shapes very well. And they crunch in your mouth. How do you make biscuits?! You always hear of people making cakes and muffins and brownies and cookies, but rarely of biscuits. People don't just bake biscuits at home. They buy from outside. One day in the future I will learn how to bake my own sweet, delicious and one-of-a-kind biscuits :D And it will be my very own recipe with its very own unique taste. Delicious. And I'll bake them for my kids! And family. And friends (:

And when you crunch them slowly in your mouth, you can taste the process of them being sweeter and sweeter with that unique biscuit taste that no other food can mimic. It's amazing. And it's unbelievable that I can only appreciate them now. Biscuits are amazing objects. Food. They are dry and nice and light, and can be carried around anywhere and stay as your source of food for a long time without rotting (if you have an airtight container). So useful! And they're filling too. See the miracle of biscuits!

I think it is nice when you know that there is actually someone out there who reads your blog instead of you just talking to yourself thinking that you are talking to someone D: Sigh.

Oh I've found another characteristic of a biscuit! It tastes like bread. The crust of bread. The very first time it goes into your mouth, you can taste the bread! Then you are overwhelmed by the sweetness of the layers of goodness.

You know, it is so amazing that the oven can produce so many different kinds of goodies! Sometimes even with the same ingredients - just that the quantity of each is different. How cool is that? The texture, taste and feel of cake and biscuits are so different. Hm. I guess I should stop eating the biscuits now or else I will get a sorethroat :x

(Anyway I have another question. Why will you get a sore throat whenever you eat too much biscuits or dry food or "热" food? It is so amazing that Western medicine and Eastern medicine are actually correct in their own way but when you put them together it doesn't make sense at times. According to the Western point of view, you get sorethroat because you are infected with a bacteria which attacks your throat and uh makes it feel painful? And according to the Eastern/Chinese point of view you get sore throat when you eat too much heaty stuff O: And there is an imbalance in your body that's why your throat hurts. Haha that kinda doesn't make sense if you believe in the Western view of medicine. Hm. And what is considered as "heaty" and what is not? Do they test it on every single kind of food? I think it is based on experience. Like, a mother had sorethroat after a day of stuffing herself with biscuits. That's why she comes to the conclusion that "biscuits are heaty, eating too much will give you a sore throat". And she passes this down to her children or her family or fellow villagers and then it starts the trend O: So when you talk about Chinese medicine you are actually talking about years, thousands of years of experience. But then again why does acupuncture relieve stress/muscle ache etc? How does it help? The Western doctors believe that acupuncture somehow alerts your immune system, making it more adept at clearing away the infection or whatever. It stimulates a response from your immune system that would otherwise be more dead and would spend more time curing yourself of the disease. But is it proven yet.... That's why medicine is amazing. Western medicine is pretty straightforward, actually. Sick, find out the cause of the sickness, eliminate it immediately and directly. For example, if you have the flu, it means that you have been infected with the flu virus be it from the air or from food or someone else. So, to get rid of the flu you would have to get rid of the virus. So they give you antibiotics or something. Another thing I don't understand is why they always give me antibiotics when I have the flu o_o Are there antibiotics that are programmed to kill cells which are infected by the flu virus? Like Tamiflu. lol. But Tamiflu... Yah hor, what is it arh...)

Okay I'm kinda too lazy to continue talking about medicine in parentheses so I shall just talk here like that. I kinda forgot my train of thought o_o what was I going to say? Hm. You know my blog is like just this space where I can continue ranting on and on about random stuffs. Whatever things that are going through my mind at this point of time, I just type them down. Like these words. I am actually enunciating in my mind as I type the words. Word by word I enunciate them. That's why sometimes it flows very well and sometimes it doesn't. Cause you know the human brain, we don't stick to one train of thought all the time... Something may trigger something inside us which will lead us to remember something else and hence talk about something else. This is so cool. I just remembered what I wanted to talk about.

Well what I was thinking about was the nanomachines that can help homo sapiens fight cancer - the leading cause of death today. Apparently scientists have discovered/invented this new machines cause nano-something. They are extremely tiny pieces of metal (gold or silver) and they can be programmed/coated with some antibodies/antigens that are targeted at cancer cells. In other words, they can find cancer cells for you. So like, if you suspect that you have cancer, you can go to the doctor and he will ask you to drink this solution thing which contains a lot of those nanomachines. And since they are programmed to find cancer cells, they will do so. When you realise that there are alot of these machines gathered at one area on your body, it means that you have abnormal cell activity there. How cool is that! Besides that, since they are there already, they can help to destroy those irritating cancer cells. You can shine infrared light at that area, and the gold/silver will keep on absorbing the heat until it's so hot that the cells surrounding them die. And those cells are the cancer cells(: And yay, you're saved! But I think they don't know how to get the nanomachines out of your body yet O:

Haha I've talked so much already. My brain is kinda tired. Sigh. I asked our domestic helper to cook macaroni tonight :x cause I saw this huge packet of macaroni and I was thinking "ehhh very long never eat le lei :D" So I decided to ask hahaha. Yay, at least there's something to look forward to. I wanted to type an exposition. Maybe I will. But I will definitely search for some examples of expository essays online (like those magazine people who want to publish their point of view, or maybe newspaper articles) and read! :D And I will hahahahahhaahhaha look for some interesting quotes. I already have some interesting quotes that are permanently imprinted in my brain. Perhaps I need more! Byebye :D And oh recently I have been using Lin Jun Jie and Lee Kuan Yew as examples for my essays and Chinese comprehension last questions (about your opinion and giving an example to show it). I think it's too much liao hor :x HAHA. But they are awesome examples to use! I don't know why but I think I've done pretty well for Chinese Paper 2 today O: Or perhaps it's because I'm just screwed up and in my own world lah. Lol.

My eyes are kinda tired too. I feel like sleeping, but if I sleep then it would be bad because I would wake up feeling worse... Sigh. Nevermind, I'll think of something :D Bye bye! (:

This is so cool I wanna go visit someday. And live there for a day or two. I think I'll just sit in the topmost bedroom and enjoy the wind and view and just read books or something for the whole day :D Awesome!<3

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Perfectionist streaks. Now Playing: Autumn Finds Winter - Yiruma Eating as a form of distraction One of those days A foggy world(?) Don't know why I'm writing this down We call everything on the ice, "love". A bit of self-observation, Plea for help So excited that I can barely breathe;